Day 27: My Absence Explained

Posted in Just Another Random Thought Picked From the Brain of Shady with tags , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2009 by theshadyninja

So I have had a wild weekend, well, wild by my standards. I’ve fallen in love and had my heart broken. I’ve found a new side to myself and now find myself staring down a road I’ve never traveled before.

Thursday night: After I finished cleaning the store I texted my cousin to make sure we were still on for “Last House on the Left” and “Miss March” for Friday… we weren’t. Instead she had bailed on me because her friend Christy wanted to hang out but I can chill with them at her friend Amber’s. -_- pass…

Friday: I went to work that morning completely miserable because I had switched schedules with a coworker just so I could go to the movies; instead I was going home after work for a family birthday party. -_- I got there and found my cousin was coming for the party too. Confusing but okay. I come home to a huge box in the mail. I open it to find “Local” by Brian Wood. It is huge. Cazzie (my cousin) showed up and soon fell asleep on the couch. Grr. Now I’m bored with my family and they’re taking forever with the lasagna. I watch a House marathon to entertain me. Cazzie wakes up at 7, eats a salad, and decides to leave. Although I’m not the biggest fan of her friend I cannot stand to sit in the pit of dispare for another second. I decide to go with her and meet her at Wal-Mart. She’s taking for ever and I feel a slight chill so I run inside to by a jacket. 7 bucks and it’s awesome. I go to the self-checkout because it had the shortest line. Now every time I go into my local Wal-Mart I keep my eyes peeled for the love of my life. She’s a cashier and she usually only works late at night. When I see my God my breath escapes me and I turn bright red. I didn’t see her so I figured I was in the clear. Well, I pick a line and look up and she’s right in front of me. Exact quote, “Oh, Crap.” I was looking right at her too. And she was looking at me. I put my head down. I could feel the heat boiling out of my shirt. I couldn’t get the touch pad thing to work so the guy behind me had to help so I was royaly embarrassed by the time I left. I walked away whimpering, biting my index finger, and knowing she heard me and probably thinks I hate her since I avoid her like the plague because I become a moron when I try to speak to her. My cousin, two of her friends, and me head for Dothan. She’s going to get a new tattoo and apparently she’s decided I’m getting one too. HA! My mom would murder me. They dare me to take a shot of Vodka (I don’t drink) I do it anyway. We then stop in at Flying J where I met Flying J Girl. She could be Morgan Webb’s little sister. I was smitten. (Note Vodka makes me fall in love… with everyone). I was standing infront of her mildly uninhibbited babbling about how pretty she was. Luckly I waited until we were outside to say, “I want her.” Cazzie then convinced me to go shave my vag so I could get a sweet vag tat. I did so she’d leave me alone. There was only one tattoo I was considering and I was not gonna spend any money on it tonight. Christy offered to get Flying J Girl’s number for me. She didn’t thank God. We went to the All or Nothing Tattoos and Cazzie became nervous almost begging me to get one too. She even offered to pay. That’s when I met Tattoo Girl. She had the best personality ever and she wanted to tattoo me bad. I almost got the Wonder Woman symbol just so she could. She decided it wouldn’t come out right so we decided it would be a bad idea. (I was sad). Then my cousin brought up the Chicken Feet tat that we were gonna get on V-Day. Oh, shit. “That is so awesome. It’s hard to get me to touch a foot but I would so give you chicken feet,” she said looking right at me. I love you… you will be mine. I decided I would get the tattoo. We paid for them and before we could get in the chairs someone else came in and stole Tattoo Girl away from me. Sigh. Now I’m stuck. Some beefy dude did it instead but she kept calling me a pretty girl. YOU CAN’T DO THAT! I climbed out of the chair after the deed was done (didn’t flinch and it barely hurt. I am a BEAST!). She then told me it was awesome and cute. As Cazzie crawled into the chair I turned to Christy and Ashlye and mouthed, “I want her so bad,” and bounced up and down on my toes. We left for Marianna with a giant bottle of Vodka and headed for Amber’s place where they smoked and I swallowed my vodka and orange juice and watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I drove home completely sober. I AM A BEAST!!!

Saturday: I went to work excited to show off my new ink and see my ex for some somethin-somethin. Grr. He tells me to come over right after work cause he has to work. I can’t I have to get ready. Then I shouldn’t come at all. You’re a douche. As I leave my job I don’t notice someone walking next to me. I get in my car and look around to back out. AHHH! Wal-Mart girl sabotage! Again our eyes meet. My mouth drops open and she scowels. Oh, yeah. She hates me. She started walking back to Wal-Mart and I was so close to pulling over and being like, “Hey, you need a ride?” but I figured that would be creepy so I followed her instead. Yes, I thought giving her a ride would be creepy but following her perfectl normal. **Shakes head**  I get home, pack, and head for Tallahassee. Sure he’s a douche but he’s great in bed. I stop in at Sami and Alex’s for a bit because Chris is at work and I need to kill time. They have to leave. What now? I decided to go to the mall and read at Barnes & Noble but instead I go into watch “Watchmen” by myself instead. Yes, I know, that’s sad but the movie was fucking awesome! I go to Christopher’s place and do the naughty and think of Tattoo Girl.

Sunday: What a horrible day. I text my lesbian friend who has been trying to get me to come over to girly side for months and tell her I’ve decided to take a chance. I’m going back to the All or Nothing on Friday and I’m hitting on Tattoo Girl and I’m not leaving until I give her my number. I might even do the same for Wal-Mart Girl. She thinks that is awesome. Shower sex. Christopher expected me to lay around all day why he played WoW. I had a headache so I told him I needed some medicine and he needed to come with me. He refused so I went without him and just cruised around Tallahassee doing whatever I felt. Didn’t care about going back anytime soon. My cousin calls. Her car was stolen from her yard. She got it back. Christopher played Wow and I read “Local.”

Monday: Slept until 12. Miserable. Christopher immediately started on WoW. I tried to instigate something. No good. I got up and went into the shower. Should you be considering masturbation in the shower when you’re with your fuck buddy? I left again and went to the mall again. I walked around talked to my friend and then went back to Barnes & Noble and read the first 5 chapters of “Twilight.” I know. I know. Don’t say anything. I left there and went to dinner with Sami and Alex and their friends Matt and Kristie. That was funny. Philly Cheese Steaks are always delicious. Watched Little Britain USA with them it was meh but I like being with people. Cazzie calls. $800 was stolen with her car. We won’t be going back for her tattoo on Friday. TATTOO GIRL NOOOOO!!!! Went back to Christopher’s. We watched House and he began to start something and didn’t finish. -_- This is getting ridiculous. Went to sleep.

Today (Tuesday): Woke up at 8 and read “Watchmen.” 10 o’clock I packed my things and got ready to leave. I cried part of the way home because I’m pretty sure I’m never going back there. Slowly was sucked deeper into depression. Started thinking about “Local” and decided that’s what I want. I’m giving myself 2 years to save money and then I’m moving somewhere else and I plan to do it every year. Just up and leave again. I think I’m gonna head west first. I eventually wanna make it to New England. There’s someone there I might wanna meet.

Oh yeah! My tattoo: im000026


Day 26: So I met up With Olivia in my dreams again…

Posted in Olivia Munn on March 2, 2009 by theshadyninja

I swear she’s dream stalking me… or I’m dream stalking her. I’ll be honest lately my Munn love has waned. I know I know. Don’t beat me. Sorry, other people have cought my attention. Bridget Regan is really hot and Reaper season 2 is about to start Missy Peregrym is in my head and then there’s the one girl I went to high school with and my God the Wal-Mart cashier with the most gorgeous eyes… anyway I don’t think Munn really cares too much for this because she came to me last night. I don’t think she was angry… just trying to remind me of what I’m missing. So here it is:

I don’t know where it really started. I just remember a scattering of things. I went over to my cousin’s house because we were going to see a movie. I was slightly distracted by my cousin’s hamster (she doesn’t have one) When someone walked behind me. Who the hell was that? I didn’t remember Cazzie saying someone else was going with us. Oh, well the more the marrier. My cousin told me she had left something in her room so I followed her back there but cought a glimps into her brother’s vacant room. It was full of clothes and a bed that was all messy. He’s been moved out for months so what’s going on in here. I stepped into the room and looked around. What the crap? These are women’s clothes? Invitations to a party were scattered around on the floor with an old fashioned fountain pin (you know the kind you refill and if you flip the switch the wrong way you get a nasty inky surprise). What the crap is going on here? I guess Cazzie is merging the two rooms together but I’ve never seen her wear these and that doesn’t look like her handwriting on the invites.

“Hey, did you get your invitation?”
“I sent yours out special. It went out like two weeks ago. You haven’t gotten it yet?”

I turn around and who do I find? Ms. Olivia Munn. She’s sitting in a chair next to the wall holding invitations in her hand scribbling her name at the bottom. I look down and there it is in my hand. She was wearing a black dress that stopped mid thigh but ran up higher when she sat and just below that were a pair of thigh highs… you guys know the ones.

“Yeah, yeah I got it.”
“Good. You better be at my party. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

I stood there shocked with my mouth agape. I looked down at the invitation and found I had my own personal message written on it that no one else received. (I wish I could remember what it was)

“My brother’s gonna be there…” I looked up to see that she had a very coy smile on her face. I know what she’s thinking.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be there.”
“Well it’s tonight. So don’t be late” Crap. I guess the movie is out.
“So what are you doing here?”
“Oh it just seemed like it was a good place to hide out for awhile.”
Makes sense. It began to dawn on me then… apparently Olivia and I were friends. Um… awesome.

Okay, things get hazy there but that’s when I run into her brother. Noice. He’s with a friend and I’m with my cousin. We’re at the party and it’s very congested. I’m looking around trying to find Olivia but I just keep getting glimpses. Grr… I can’t remember. I know there’s a moment with me and her brother. He says something about being a lonely asian and we kiss but I’m still looking for Munn and chemical warfare. I just don’t remember. I should have wrote this up when I woke up but I didn’t cause I didn’t know if I wanted to or not so this what you’re getting. HA not at all what you expected. Sorry. If something better happens tonight I’ll write it up right away. Sorry for wasting your time. But I have to say John is a pretty good kisser.

Day 25: Return of The Blog With No Name

Posted in Just Another Random Thought Picked From the Brain of Shady with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2009 by theshadyninja

Okay so yeah… wow. It has been a long time. So I was drearily bored tonight and could feel my body being pulled into the great precipice of depression (I know how very emo of me) when I said, “Holy Shit! Blog you self loathing whore! Your computer is up and running and people are beginning to forget!” So I pulled up my last entry to see where I left off and then I pulled up the last part I worked on so I could pick up where I left off and I couldn’t believe what I found! I had pretty much already written the next chapter before my computer went in the crapper! Now here’s the thing. This entry is kinda unfinished. It was gonna go a lot farther. Jason and Zoe farther but when I read it again I realized it didn’t have to. I love Bren too much for that so just imagine it for yourself. I’m sure whatever you come up with will be far more interesting than what I could… plus I’m just not feeling the sexy…

The walk back from Zoe’s house was a long, dreary, cold one with the wind beating against my face adding a bright red to my cheeks. The sky had already blanketed the town in a fine sheet of white powder before finally easing its assault and ending the snowfall. Shadows of the building stretched out into the west crawling away from the setting sun. My mind raced with the events of the afternoon. Somehow with a stinking concoction Zoe had managed to heal my body. Lifting my arms over my head no longer brought a grimace to my face. The cold wind didn’t make the pain flair in back, shoulders, or ribs. It was as if the fight with the Oni had never happened. I pulled my arms up over my head and then pushing them behind my back enjoying the stretch and pop of the muscles. Doors were already beginning to close in preparation for the attack that would come tonight. I’m gonna try and stay in tonight no matter how loud it gets. The wind began to pick up as I turned the corner at the post office and it chilled me to my bones. A shiver escaped my and a tiny flake floated down to my nose. Only about fifty more feet to the hotel and I could finally get to some warmth. The snow crunched under my feet as I forced my legs to continue moving even as I felt the muscles begin to stiffen and my joints freeze from the frigid temperatures. The wind blew harder against my face and I could feel tiny icicles beginning to form in my hair and nose. I ran my hand across my chin and the tiny crystals broke away from my face. I lifted my head to see how much closer I was to the hotel only to find white. Twisting my head from side to side I looked around trying to find anything that could help me find my way to the hotel. With in seconds I had found myself trapped in a whiteout. I looked down to my feet but couldn’t find them. If I can’t find my way inside soon I could easily become lost in this blizzard and die from hypothermia in seconds. I just have to stay on my feet. When I came in to town the post office had been to my left. If I can make it to the sidewalk I might be able to guide myself to anything that isn’t outside. I extended my left arm out and blindly reached for anything only to discover nothing at all. I ducked my head down and began to inch my way to the left hoping to connect with a wall. Numbness took over my fingers and the tip of my nose. It was beginning to feel like I had been walking for hours and I knew it was hypothermia starting to take its toll on my body. With each step I grew increasingly weaker and my body was sagging farther and farther down. Shuffling my feet, my pace had come to a crawl, when I fumbled. My right foot found itself caught behind my left and I fell to the ground. I fell hard into the snow and felt the cold take over me. This was it. I had fought giant drooling monsters but I would die in the snow. All I needed to do is take one deep breath and my lungs would freeze. My cheek was starting to lose its sensation and I was beginning to lose all hope of survival. Consciousness began to elude me and my body slowly began to inch forward. ~~~~~~~ A fire crackled in my ear as its heat slowly thawed my body. My fingers tingled as they slowly came alive and I shivered when the bumped against the bare skin of my stomach. A thick heavy blanket was draped over my body and as I started to shiver again I felt it rub against my thighs. Who ever had dragged me inside had removed my clothes as well. “You know I’m not gonna be able to save your ass every time you get in a jam right?” Bren was sitting in a straight back chair with a steamy cup in her hand and I realized I was back in her den. “You’re just lucky I saw you in the street before the blizzard hit. You fell right at my door step.” Bren’s house is on the right side of the street. I must have been completely turned around. I guess it was lucky that Bren found me. “Why’d you take my clothes off?” Her face flushed and an uneasy smile spread across her face. She slid down from her seat and on to the floor next to me. “Sorry,” she said as she slipped her warm hand up to my forehead, “Your clothes were soaked from the snow. You were never gonna get warm wearing them. Coffee?” She offered the cup to me and I took it and drank deeply. The hot liquid warmed my body from the inside out. With one final gulp I reached the bottom of the cup and I handed it back to Bren. “Yeah, I bet that’s why you did it.” I smiled at her and waited for her to jab me in the shoulder. “Would you like some soup,” Bren had turned away from me now trying to hide her embarrassment, “I’m not much of a cook but I can heat up a mean can of soup.” I wasn’t sure how to feel about her reaction. On one hand I felt bad for embarrassing her but on the other hand her reaction made her look even more irresistible. She passed the bowl to me and I could see that her gaze was conflicted. When she would look into my eyes her embarrassment would return but when she would look down she would find my chest and yet again her embarrassment would reemerge. “Thanks.” I cupped the bowl in my hand letting its heat finish thawing my fingers. I let the steam rise up and the chill in my face slowly melted away. She walked on her knees down to my feet and felt of my toes and then up my legs. “You’re still a little frozen but I don’t think you’re gonna lose any appendages. I pulled you in before hypothermia could set in so I think that helped.” I watched as she squeezed my calves and noticed that I could see down the opening of her blouse. “You should probably try to stay inside for awhile.” “I can barely feel my feet,” I laughed, “I don’t think that’ll be much of a problem.” I looked up to Bren hoping she was laughing at my joke but instead she was staring hard at my chest. Her mouth hung slack and I could see her eyes running from my stomach back up to my chest and I suddenly remembered the bitter potion Zoe had made me swallow. Bren crawled up my legs and ran her hands along my chest and up to my shoulder examining every inch. Her hands were soft and warm coasted lightly over my skin in a way that combined both professional and sensual. I fidgeted underneath her and she squeezed my hips between her knees to hold me in place. “The bruises…,” she said, “They’re all gone.” “Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you thought.” Her hand slid under my arm and pulled me forward and I found my head only inches from her breasts. The edges of her bra was peeking out of the top her of her shirt and I took in a deep even breath savoring her scent. I felt her hands pressing against the flesh of my back as if she was trying to get me to flinch. “Or maybe you’re just that great of a doctor.” “Maybe,” she said but I could see that she didn’t believe my excuse and I waited for the usual jab to my shoulder but instead she began to pull away. I watched, disheartened, as she stood up straight and stepped away from me. I clutched my hand hard to my side to keep me from reaching out to her and pulling her back down on top of me. “Um, you should stay right there tonight.” “Bren…” I called to her but she was already rounding the corner to the hallway. ~~~~~~~ I must have laid there in the floor of Bren’s den for hours wishing I had never ran into Zoe that afternoon or that I could have done anything to keep Bren with me. I wiggled my toes noticing that I had regained enough sensation to feel just how cold they were and considered trying to find my way up to Bren’s room. I watched a tiny spider crawl across the ceiling longing for the dawn to come so I could sneak away from Bren’s home and back to the hotel so that I wouldn’t have to face her when she came down in the morning to inevitably ask where the bruises had gone. Telling her that I had been cured by a magic potion, created by Zoe of all people, would surely only make the rift between Bren and me worse. I folded my arm behind my head and closed my eyes. It would still be hours before first light. An Oni’s claws scraped across the pavement outside of den’s window and I held my breath until I was sure it had passed by. A howl echoed through the cold night and I cringed remembering the pain in my rib cage after my last battle with the monsters. I listened intently waiting for the creature to come back keeping my ears opened for foot falls on the sidewalk in front of Bren’s. The fire danced next to me and I hoped that the monster wouldn’t notice its flicker through the curtain. Relaxing my head back against my forum I closed my eyes once more concentrating on the sound of the fire popping and my own steady breathing slowly drifting down into sleep when the sound of foot steps pulled me back into consciousness. I snapped my head over in the direction of the den’s doorway which led into the hallway where Bren stood wearing only a button down shirt that was two sizes too big for her. The cuffs of her sleeves hung down past her hands and I followed the rest of the shirt to its tail that ended at the middle of her thighs and then on down to her bright red toes. “Bren,” I began as her long lithe legs began to move and she made her way to me. With a flash she was standing over me straddling me between her long beautiful legs. My heart began to race as she eased herself down on top of me and my hands found their way to her hips. “Bren, I…” “Jason now would be an excellent time for your patented stoicism.” Our eyes met and in hers I could see a hunger and lust that I had never seen in her before. She plunged her face down on to mine and slipped her slippery wet tongue into my mouth and I greeted it with my own. Gripping her hips I pulled her body closer to mine until only her shirt separated us and she began to explore my chest and back with one hand while pulling the thick blanket away from my waste with the other. As the fabric pulled away the warmth of her inner thighs made contact with the bare skin of my legs and I realized she was wearing no undergarments beneath her white shirt with blue pen striping. Slowly her hand inched its way back up to my chest and I watched her eyes as they ran from my stomach to my chest and then to my own eyes. I leaned into her ready for our lips to connect again in passion only to have Bren push me away. I fell back against the floor and she fell down on top of me. I slid my hands from her waste under the tail of her shirt and along the smooth skin of her back as she knotted her fingers in my hair. She traced my jaw with her nose as her lips traveled along my neck and up to the lobe of my ear. I wrapped my arm around her waste and moaned as she nibbled at my ear. Completely in Bren’s control I bent to her every whim. She lowered her face and kissed at my chest. I pulled my hands free from her shirt and shoved them into the long brown waves of her hair. Slowly she slid her right hand down from my hair and along my face. She looked up to me and smiled coyly and my urge to be with her grew. I fought hard against my longing to just take her and plunge myself deep inside of her and just allow Bren to be in charge. I pulled her back up to me and I was rewarded with the warmth of her mouth on mine.

Day 24: Eskimo Kisses and Blair Butler Shout Outs.

Posted in Blair Butler, G4tv, Here's Something We All Can Enjoy!, Olivia Munn with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2009 by theshadyninja


So yeah, That happened and it was fucking amazing… and it answered a question I had been wondering about for a while. I guess I may not have my shot with Blair. Sigh, I’ll keeping dreaming anyway.

Day 23: Not The Blog With No Name. Not It At All.

Posted in Here's Something We All Can Enjoy! with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 16, 2009 by theshadyninja


Costume Designer FTW! Nice job Guyver!

Day 22: The Blog With No Name Has Returned!

Posted in Just Another Random Thought Picked From the Brain of Shady with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2008 by theshadyninja

So I went to Boyfriend’s this weekend and he had to work Sunday night so I took the time to write. Yes! I wrote! I wanted to keep writing but he called to say he was almost home and Sami wanted us to come see her. Plus he’s a writer so I didn’t want him to see me writing and laugh at me. He understands grammar really well and I almost completely clueless when it comes to that sort of thing. Anyway the creative juices started to flow and I wrote just for you internets. And what is great about that is the next part has Bren in it and we get to see Bren unleashed! Crap… I’ve said too much. Oh, well, have fun! Oh, yeah, leaves the comments. They are much appreciated.


The lobby of the hotel was just as slow as any other day and I found Vi stirring around behind the front desk. I smiled at her and waited for her to blush and look away from me like she always did but to my surprise she smiled back and emerged from behind the counter. I leaned against the stair case and watched her saunter up to me looking unbelievably like her sister.

“So, I saw you sleeping on the couch this morning,” she said. She leaned against the banister and shyly smiled at me. “Bren said you got beatin’ up pretty bad.” She reached out and rested her hand on my shoulder. I looked down at her hand as she said, “I hope you feel better soon. If you need anything, and I mean anything, just let me know, okay?”

Her hand was soft and warm and I could tell from the reddening in her cheeks her offer had meant to be completely innocent. I reached up and touched her hand as gently as possible and nodded my head, “I’ll do that.”

I pulled away and began to climb the stairs. I could feel her eyes on me as ascended and I looked back over my shoulder to find that she was still watching. A smile that matched her sister’s was on her face and she gave me the same tiny wave I had received from Bren that morning. I flashed my best charming smile and waved back to her. It would seem that both of the Davis girls were carrying a torch for me.

I reached my room and stood by the bed trying to decide my next move. My muscles ached and the bed seemed to beg me to pile into the middle of it. I began to slowly easy the shirt up over my head and as I lifted my arm the odor burned my nose and I tried to remember the last time I had showered. A shower would do wonders for the throbbing in my back and shoulders.

I climbed in and let the hot water rush over me. I breathed in as deeply as my bruised rib cage would permit and allowed the steam to fill my head.


Sitting on the foot of the bed was a stack of clothes with a note on the top. In Bren’s long scrolling print was a memo to let me know that she had had Vi bring more clothes over for me. I plucked the shirt from the top of the stack up and held it out in front of me. It was a red button up collared shirt.

I slid my arms through the holes deciding it would be easier to put on than one that I would have to pull over. I didn’t think my aching ribs could take another big stretch. I buttoned the shirt from the bottom up and found Bren’s scent embedded in the fabric.

I gave the cuff of the sleeve a quick sniff and memories of the previous night flooded into my mind. The way her honey brown hair had fallen around her face, her perfect cheek structure that stood out when she smiled, the glossy shine of her lips, and her deep smoky brown eyes. I found myself standing there grinning like a fool with my shirt only half buttoned. Maybe I’ll go back and see her again tonight.

Leaving the hotel I walked down the street. Tiny flakes had begun to fall from the sky and tiny mounds of snow were beginning to form on the cars and roof tops. I had finally gotten something to cover my arms and it had gotten colder. I ducked my head down against the brisk wind and wondered if Bren had any spare jackets that her ex had left behind.

“How are you today, Jason?” I looked up to find Phillip walking out of the post office; a big mail bag sagging at his hip. He rubbed at his arms and grabbed the collar of his jacket and flipped it up. “Getting’ cold out, huh?”

I jogged over to him, hoping to get my blood flowing, and greeted him with a handshake. I nodded my answer to his question. “I’m doing pretty good today,” I said with a smile and then rubbed my shoulder, “Kinda stiff though.”

Phillip flipped open the mail box that stood in front of Sam’s store and dropped a single envelope into the box. “We don’t get a lot of mail here,” and then he laughed, “I bet you are stiff.”

I gave him a puzzled look. Had he seen me fighting the Oni or had someone told him about it? It was possible I guess. I’m sure that I’m not the only person the Oni woke up last night.

“I saw you leavin’ Bren’s place this morning.” He gave me a nudge in the ribs and I flinched a little, “She’s a sweet heart, isn’t she?”

I felt the blood rush to my face and tried to smile through my embarrassment, “Oh, nothing like that happened. She was just bandaging me up from the scrap I got into last night.”

He raised his eyebrow and leaned his head back, “Ah, I see. Well, she’s still a great girl.” He bent down and dropped a letter through the mail slot of Bren’s place and then knocked on to a window that looked in on Bren’s office. Peaking in I could see her sitting at a desk wearing a pair of black rimmed glasses that gave he a bookish and cute appearance.

Phillip wrapped his knuckles against the glass and gave Bren a wave when she looked up. Seeing me her face began to sparkle and her eyes lit up. She pulled her glasses away from her face and pinched at the corner of her blouse. Smiling at me she mouthed the words “nice shirt.” I flipped up the collar and raised an eyebrow trying to look both sexy and goofy at the same time. I was happy to see that my attempt was rewarded by Bren’s charming laugh that makes her entire face light up.

I looked around for Phillip and discovered that he had already made his way halfway down the street. I turned back to Bren to let her know that I’d be back later. Trying to make my intentions innocent I pointed to my back and grimaced a little. She raised her hand giving me the “okay” symbol and then nodded her head in a way that said she knew why I’d really be back.

With a wave and quick glance back I chased Phillip down the block. I had almost reached the older man when Zoe strolled out of the sheriff’s office and her whole body seemed to glow at the sight of me. I slowed my jog realizing that she wanted me to stop. She had forgone her usual cheongsam for a lacy white blouse and a pair of dark jeans that were covered by a flashy multicolored skirt and furry boots.

She climbed to my face and kissed me lightly on the lips, “Hey, you. Where’ve ya been?” She linked her arm in mine and then rested her head on my shoulder. I was finding it incredibly hard not let my discomfort show as she squeezed my arm and started leading me back to her house.


The floor in Zoe’s den was actually very comfortable. She had insisted the floor was the best place to sit for the procedure she was about execute. All around us candles flickered and a bowl of sage burned in between us. The smoke rose up and assaulted my nose but Zoe inhaled deeply savoring the scent.

“Not everyone likes sage,” she said with a smirk. I must have been making a face.


Holding out her arms she flexed her hands motioning for me to take them into my own. I reached out reluctantly never knowing for sure what she would do next. “C’mon already. We don’t have all day.” I held my palms out to her and she took them and I immediately noticed that her hands were not clammy like they had been last time. “I can’t believe you’ve been out fighting with the Oni.”

“I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. You said I was here to stop them.” Confusion washed over my face and she laughed out as if what I had said was absolutely absurd.

“No. You’re supposed to stop the person who is bringing them here.” She opened a black jar and poured it contents into the smoking bowl. Rocking the bowl around is a circle she spread the oily substance around as the sage hissed. She sat the bowl down and returned her hands to mine. “That’s why my dad doesn’t want you around. He thinks having you around is too dangerous,” and as she spoke she dropped her eyes to the floor away from mine and her voice trailed off.

“I see. Well, I don’t think I’m all that dangerous,” I squeezed her hand to try and make her feel better.

“Anyway, what I’m doing now is making a mixture that’s going help with the bruising on your back and if I do it right then you should be healed.” She took her hands from mine again and spooned a grainy powder into the bowl. I was beginning to get the feeling that holding my hands had nothing to do with whatever concoction she was working up. “I was reading more today and I discovered something new.”

My head popped up from the contents of the bowl, intrigued to hear about her new discovery, but she didn’t seem like she was in a hurry to tell me what it was. She began to crush the mixture together while speaking inaudibly.

“And,” I asked becoming impatient.

“I just need one more thing.” From behind her back she drew a knife and swiped the blade across my palm before I had a chance retract. A stripe of red oozed from my hand and I looked at Zoe with shock and dismay. Her eyes seemed to twinkle as she watched, fascinated, as the line formed a puddle in my palm. “It’s beautiful.”

I could feel my mouth hanging open and my brain kept telling me to close it but I couldn’t. She flipped my hand over and the tiny puddle dripped into the bowl. I tried to act like her action hadn’t bothered me and questioned her about her previous statement. “What was the new information you found?”

“Oh,” she pulled a tissue from her pocket and shoved it into my hand and then clasped it in her own grasp. She squeezed me hand and said, “Squeeze this. The pain and bleeding will be over in a moment.”

She went back to her mortar and started grinding her ingredients together in silence. I was beginning to think that she was trying to avoid telling me what she knew.


She jumped slightly, surprised by the bass I had added to my voice. I had to know what she did and I couldn’t wait a second longer. She stopped grinding her concoction and looked at me harshly, “Okay. I’ll tell you. Just drink this first.”

She held the bowl up to me and I recoiled unwilling to drink the stinking sage, my own blood, and what else she had added to it. She gave me a stern look and thrust the bowl at me only to have me push it away.

“Jason, just drink it already. I know it seems gross but I promise it’s worth it.” She spooned up some of the thick liquid and pushed it into my mouth. Holding my breath, I swallowed hard, trying to keep the vile potion off of my tongue. As it slid down my throat I felt the muscles in my back begin to burn and my rib cage popped as the bones fused back together. The pain increased with every second and I wrapped my arms around my chest. I cried out in pain as Zoe grabbed me and pulled my head down into her lap. She ran her fingers through my hair and stroked my aching back as I squeezed a tear from my eye.

The pain raged through my body and then, suddenly, it was gone. I could feel the swelling under my arm dissipate. I climbed to my feet and scanned my back in a mirror that was mounted on the wall. The bruises had melted away and all that was left in their place was my bronze skin.


“I told you it was worth it.” Zoe had climbed to her feet and had snaked her arm around my waist resting her head against my shoulder. She kissed my freshly healed muscle and asked, “Do you still want to know what the book said?”

I turned to face her and met her captivating blue-green eyes, “Yes.”

Her eyes dropped to her feet and I saw a single tear plunge to the floor. “It said,” she stopped and looked up at me sorrow feeling her sparkling eyes, “It said that you would betray the woman who loves you.”

Day 21: Another Olivia Munn Dream

Posted in Olivia Munn with tags , , , , on December 5, 2008 by theshadyninja

Just thought I’d deviate today from my normal Blog With No Name today to tell you about a dream I had last night. It was kinda odd but Olivia was in it.

So I’m walking down the hallway of my house just enjoying the Christmas decorations that are hanging when I notice that one of the stockings on the wall is filled with candy! Not just any candy. Like chocolate turtles and shit. Well, not shit but other stuff. So of course I grabbed a handful and started savoring the chewy caramel. I continued down the hall and picked up a big shiny blue tree ornament and showed it to my mom and said “Hey! I bet Olivia would love this!” That’s when I realized I was in Wal-Mart. Then she picked up one and said I like this one. Then I grabbed a big box of silver ornaments and told her we should just get these. That’s when the rain started. It wasn’t a hard rain it was like one step up from a mist. We noticed all of these ppl starting to crawl out from under an RV and I look to my right and there’s Olivia. Wow. Okay, I look back to my left and my mom is gone. I turned back to Olivia and said let’s head in there and pointed to the RV. No point in standing in Wal-Mart and getting soaked. We climbed up into the RV and I’m greeted by old friends of mine. It turns out the RV is owned by the local churches but what’s strange about it is it seems pretty liberal (swimming pools and bikinis) I guess Olivia decided she wanted to blog or something because she was asking if they had wi-fi. I ran and got my router and hooked it up for her and became distracted by my old friends. We talked and I played poker with an old crush of mine. He’s my brother’s age and a drug addict now but we had fun anyway. Then something happened and everyone got up and started moving to the back room. They seemed to know why but I didn’t so I just got up and followed them. I took a seat on the floor next to a friend I haven’t seen since I was 12 and watched as Olivia entered the room she was crying and like any decent member of the Ministry I was concerned. I watched as she took a seat in a chair in the corner of the room and people began to express there fears in some random order that I didn’t understand and then give gifts to the people who had already went. That made me nervous because I hadn’t brought a gift. Anywho it never gets to my turn thank God instead it comes around to Olivia and her eye makeup is running but that’s the only makeup she has on and her hair is in a ponytail. She begins to cry more and says that her biggest fear is that people think she is too fat and nobody will ever really love her. Of course my mouth drops and I get up from my spot and sit down in the chair next to her. I put my arm around her trying to make her feel better. The amazing thing about it was that it was like I was actually right next to her. I could see every freckle, every strand of hair, the curve of her nose. I mean everything. It was like Olivia in HD but in my head. It was a pretty amazing experience. I tried to make her feel better but before I could the dream shifted on me and we were in the kitchen of the RV and now it was Olivia’s home. I had to leave so I gathered up my router and Olivia and I said our goodbyes and she told me to drop by again sometime. From there I was at a school there were hatchet blades that’s really just a blur. Oh, well that’s all I got.

I know that was all kinda scattered but the dream was really scattered and that was the best way to write it up. Plus I’ve been following so much order with the Blog With No Name so I just wanted to relax and free write.