Day 1: Epic Text Conversation

Alex: Keep your vagina away from me!!!

Callie: What?

Alex: I’m bored…

Callie: Oh. I’m sorry Alex. I’m reading posts by Omunn on the G4 forums. She makes me giggle.

Alex: She’s nothing compared to GHK

Callie: F*** you Alex! Omunn will rule the world one day and your GHK will tremble before her! And as a card carrying member of the Ministries of Munn I shall sit at her right hand and destroy all those that do not accept her reign!

Alex: Bitch, I am of the inner circle! I am one of GHK’s elite, alongside the godking Xerxes. Omunn does not know of the forces she mocks!

Callie: Our numbers are far greater than yours. You shall be cast aside like all the others. I had hoped to spare you but I feel our friendship cannot save you this time. Omunn will want blood. She will ask for your head in a show of my loyalty. I will have to appease her or die in her service of which I will gladly do.

Alex: Although you may have superior numbers you cannot hope to match GHK in power. Submit now, lest I be forced to strike you down.

Callie: Not under the watchful eye of Omunn. She protects her knights unlike a certain homeless “deity.”

Alex: You know nothing! Her beauty has blinded you

Callie: Not only her beauty but her ever increasing power! She is currently in Japan recruiting new members to our growing army and we shall trample you and your false profit, GHK!

Alex: You talk rot and with each word hammer a nail upon your coffin.

Callie: You spit acid with your lying tongue. It hurts me to know that I will have to hurt Sami so in the name of Omunn. But I will do what I must. Forgive me Sami… He knows not what he does.

Alex: You speak blasphemy! Such talk will only bring your demise.

Callie: Repent Alex May and allow Omunn’s Vagina Juice to wash over you in redemption!

Alex: Nay, for GHK’s beard shall protect me from her unholy flow.

Callie: Her flow is far too strong to be held back by an aging homeless man’s beard! She will not tolerate false profits!

Alex: You will die!

Callie: Not as long as I am bathed in the Vagina Juice of our beautiful sovereign Lisa Olivia Munn!

Alex: You have condemned yourself.

Callie: Condemned myself to a life of servitude to Omunn and all the glorious perks that come with it.

…one hour passes…

Callie: Running away are we?

Alex: Such an Omunn thing to say.

Callie: We are instigators. We will instigate change! We will instigate revolution and we will instigate the downfall of Garfield H Kindergarten!

Alex: Her juice shall be set aflame by GHK’s power.

Callie: Silly infidel. You shall burn from the force of her laser beam eyes.

Alex: GHK iveted laser beams.

Callie: Omunn invented laser beams. I have no clue what iveted is. Probably some made up word from your false lord!